Summarizing Boethius late at night . . .

{Boethius' Consolation of Philosophy, summarized in a very non-academic fashion while working on a paper.}

In the beginning, B is sitting in jail, wearing eyeliner and crying and sad and writing weepy poetry.

This chick shows up and kicks out all the muses, but B doesn't realize who she is. Then he figures out that she's Lady Philosophy, and she asks him what's wrong.

And B is all "My life used to be awesome. Now I'm in jail. Why did I even try being good? It's not worth it. I'm gonna go eat some worms. "

And P is all "Sheesh, you need help. Ok, basics: who are you?"

And B is all "I'm a rational mortal animal. Basically I can think and die."

P: And . . .

B: . . .

P: . . .

B: nothing.

P: "Dang, you're worse off than I thought. Let's talk.

First off, whaddidya expect from Fortune?

Second: virtue is it's own reward, all right?

Third: really, it sucks to be evil. Doesn't look like it at first glance, but if you think about it, it seriously sucks.

Fourth: yes, really, it's possible to be virtuous. Yep, God is sovereign, but free will is totally possible.

Finally: so get out and pray, already. Be virtuous. Quit your silly staring at the ground and be a man. Go, fight, win!"

The End.